Picked up a physical copy at Dragonmeet 23 and I'm extremely impressed. The writing is very high quality and a concept that could've been so easily turned into something gross for the wrong reasons has been handled very well. Nice work!
Horse Girl [ashcan]
A downloadable game
# # #
You are a woman in her late 20s. Life has not been kind to you, as much as you have tried to make things work. Your career was a mess, you were estranged from those who were supposed to love you, and you felt utterly lost in your life, not knowing who you were and what you were supposed to do.
But things changed when you met Him: a handsome, intelligent young doctor who came into your life and saw the light in you where everyone else saw emptiness.
Like you, He’s lived a lonely life. Deep beneath His confident personality and self-assured composure, you know that there’s a vulnerable, forlorn little boy who just wants to be loved. To love Him became your purpose. To truly live was to live with Him and for Him.
As time went on, you fell deeper in love as you grew further and further away from your friends and family - to the point where they barely seemed to exist anymore. That’s okay though. No one’s ever made you feel the way He’s made you feel. With Him, you finally feel safe.
So when He offers you a room in His mansion where the both of you can live together in bliss for the rest of your lives, you say “Yes!” - even if the sole condition is that you’ll be surgically and mentally transformed into a horse.
An entirely new body and mind is such a small price to pay for a lifetime of peace and happiness, you think.
# # #
Horse Girl is a solo GM-less journaling game in which you will document your surgical and mental transformation into a horse by the love of your life.
Content Warning: This game includes grotesque body horror, torture, dehumanization, bestiality, pregnancy, sexual situations, morphine usage, and consenting to having horrible things done to you by someone you love. Read and play with caution, keeping in mind that you can take a break or stop completely at any time.
Dedicated to all those who have had their lives irreparably ruined by the choices they made while under sound mind.
Inspired by such lovely, lovely films as: Tusk, The Human Centipede Trilogy, Boxing Helena, and Equus.
In order to download this game you must purchase it at or above the minimum price of $8 USD. You will get access to the following files:
Support this game at or above a special price point to receive something exclusive.
<bbb>F</bbb>e<bbb>e</bbb>l <bbb>f</bbb>r<bbb>e</bbb>e <bbb>t</bbb>o <bbb>p</bbb>i<bbb>c</bbb>k <bbb>u</bbb>p a <bbb><bbb><bbb>C</bbb>o</bbb>m</bbb><bbb>m</bbb>u<bbb><bbb>n</bbb>i</bbb><bbb>t</bbb>y <bbb>C</bbb>o<bbb>p</bbb>y - <bbb>n</bbb>o <bbb><bbb><bbb>q</bbb>u</bbb>e</bbb><bbb>s</bbb>t<bbb><bbb>i</bbb>o</bbb><bbb>n</bbb>s <bbb><bbb>a</bbb>s</bbb>k<bbb>e</bbb>d!
- KICKSTARTER PREORDERS AVAILABLE FOR RISOGRAPH ZINEAug 30, 2023
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Played this while ago and loved it! Just preordered the physical edition :)
Wait, there's a physical edition? Where?
this game is absolutely horrifying, an amazing play if you wanna freak yourself out
Highly highly recommend this game. Made me more grateful for the things I had and confront my own humanity plus it's a very fun storytelling game. I was fascinated by the concept. 10/10
Alright, but Lumen Rider full game when?
I'm really sad I missed out on this. I backed the game on Kickstarter, but it says the PDF won't be available until August. Is there a way I can get it to read ahead of its official Kickstarter release?
This looks really interesting, I'd love to play it if I had the money lol <3
Thassa spendy game! Sometime love is worth it though~
This is a game transcended into an art.
Oh my god the whole description has broken for me but I am back to ask how you feel about games inspired by yours?
Saw Bekandrew's review and grabbed myself a community copy and man. [ID: Horse staring into the sea] Got to month 12 before my girl decided to marry the guy out of self loathing and thinking nobody would be there for her if she left him (gotta thank the Club cards for that one), Didn't write on my body as even reading those parts made me feel violated. 10/10 will play again if I want pure horror and dread.
Horse Girl, a Review
Horse Girl is what it says on the tin – it’s incredibly and deeply fucked up. It isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s a journaling solo RP about a young woman who gets progressively transformed into a horse by her abusive lover.
I would like to note that the “bestiality” in question in the trigger warnings involves no animals, only the player character – a human being transformed physically into an approximation of a horse who all the while appears to maintain human intelligence and reasoning. The abuser may very well meant to be a zoophile, but no real horses are harmed, only the player character.
There is a prompt that references significant morphine use in context of after a procedure, which some may want to be aware of before playing as it's really the only potential trigger that wasn't mentioned.
I cannot emphasize enough how fucked up this RP is. Don’t get me wrong, though. That’s not a complaint, that’s a compliment.
It manages to be extremely grotesque without ever feeling unnecessary for the message. It crosses lines of taste without ever feeling like it truly went over the top. Abuse, after all, in all its forms is extremely grotesque. Abuse, by its nature, crosses every line of taste.
I should note here, before I go further into the review, that I’m an abuse survivor myself.
I didn’t have a Jenga tower, so I used the count down method. This ended with a fairly long game of 14 Months and most of my deck gone through.
I didn’t have a normal deck, so I used my tarot deck. I removed the Major Arcana and Pages (substituting Knights for Jack). I assigned each suit to their playing card equivalent, so Cups were Hearts, Coins/Pentacles were Diamonds, Rods/Wands were Clubs, and Blades/Swords were Spades.
I didn’t write on my body, but rather mentally noted the markings. I otherwise did the playthrough cleanly, without having read more of the contents than necessary to do what I was meant to. After I was done my playthrough, I read the remaining parts of the PDF.
I’m not sure how intentional the suit designation for the card draws were, but I was impressed with how well the prompts matched the (tarot) meanings for the suits – Cups being the emotions (especially love) suit, Coins for stability, home, and material advantages; Rods for thoughts and ideas; and blades for conflict and… in the game, some literal surgical blades!
While the Spades prompts were the most visceral (my heart started sinking whenever I saw a Blade card pop up because I knew whatever I was about to read was going to be some new fresh hell), they actually weren’t the most disturbing prompts, personally. I found the Hearts prompts most distressing because of the particular style they were written. They express an undying love even while detailing what should be obvious to the reader as clearly abuse. But it isn’t necessarily known to the character, or perhaps the character is in denial depending on the player’s interpretation and phase of the game when they draw it.
The stylistic choice of always capitalizing the lover/abuser’s pronouns, as if He were a god-figure is impactful to the play. It brings home how all-consuming the desire to please this new center of her world is, to make sure He is happy, even to her detriment, even as every last piece of who she was is warped to be completely unrecognizable.
This game is a horror story, but more than that, it’s a tragedy. It’s a loss of self. Every little piece of yourself that you mark is one of the obvious pieces that gets lost in the process. But the game notes that the transformation is both mental and physical. The mental loss is more subtle. It’s harder to see it building up. You don’t mark it on your body, but it can cause the game to end.
Like abuse, it comes in spurts. The mental loss comes when you may least expect it. There are times, and in my game there was well over a month straight of not receiving any of this kind of loss. The game kept on and the horrors kept progressing because the abuser seemed like He was being nice then. This mechanic is an example of phenomenal game design. I wish I had a Jenga set to play it with because the risk of knocking over a teetering tower would add another layer of tension present in this kind of relationship – that constant walking on eggshells feeling. Some of the cards make a little less sense on the surface when they get drawn in the narrative after certain other cards. This isn’t a flaw per se, as they’ll still fit in the end, but may require a bit more thought in your journaling process.
I nearly had my character escape, I was very close but kept rolling too low to remove escape tokens, even with three visible Aces, I kept experiencing setbacks in my playthrough. The odds of escape are very much stacked against you once you’re stuck there. I had a plan, at first very subtle but as time passed and the horrors increased, my steps increased in desperation and brutality in equal measure.
The game isn’t clear whether the abuser is catching onto the player character’s escape ideas or attempts or is simply jealous and paranoid of the player character leaving him. This distinction, to the extent it even matters (as the results are more or less the same either way) is up to the player to decide in their journaling activities.
I most appreciated the questions at the end. Without them, this would have been a well-written psychological horror journalling RP about an abusive relationship and still worth trying. With the cooldown questions at the end, it really puts a spotlight on how much the writer cared about the subject matter and the readers.
I’ve written and engaged in very intense horror LARP before, and we did something similar there. We all had a cooldown period together where we got out of character and reflected on the experience. The questions at the end of Horse Girl are like that but in written form, and for a single person. They helps you pull back to the real world and analyze the character you just played to see her with a new understanding before releasing her.
I was briefly concerned as a trans person before playing there might have been some unintentional transphobic leanings in the allegories – specifically looking into the concept of doctor coercing an entire species(?) change on his partner. I walked away not feeling that way at all. I also didn’t feel any specifically trans coding in any of the abuse. It simply felt like a more visceral version of abuses heaped on domestic violence victims that aren’t necessarily that blatant normally.
Though, it is worth noting that one of the specific and personal body-horror ways a trans person may experience abuse in a relationship is by the abuser coercing them out of or otherwise preventing them from accessing transition. There’s a similarity to the player character’s plight in that there’s coercion involved, there’s feelings of conforming to a body that doesn’t necessarily feel right to you to make your partner happy, and the lack of access to care can be excruciatingly painful. But again, I don’t really think this is a trans allegory or a story about transphobic abuser. It could be in your personal play-through, but that would be an additional detail you chose to add on your own.
I would recommend this game to anyone who thinks they can stomach the contents within, particularly if they are fans of body horror and psychological horror. If you find catharsis through horror games, be mindful going in how low the odds of successful escape are and the experience may be what you’re looking for. It’s a highly intense experience. You may need one or several breaks throughout.
As a trans/nb person myself, I can doubly confirm this was no written with any trans narrative in mind… and if it was it would turn out SUPER SUPER different hahaha
Saw this game. Saw it had psychological horror in the tags and that it has some free copies. I thought to myself: "Eh, why not?"
............I am now slightly mentally scared.
(all jokes aside this is one of the most horrifying things I have ever read. I'm going to wait to play it but even just skimming through the pdf gave me chills so....well done)
“and mentally” Carries so much weight. A+ :)
Bought this game on a whim when it was posted to r/rpg and I haven't really been able to get it out of my head since. Not really a fan of body horror in movies but this absolutely works as a journal game/light LARP. I've never been more actively afraid to draw a card in any game.
Absolutely works in being exactly what I think it might have been intended to be, which is, of course, being hauntingly effed-up.
Also, personally inspired me to NOT text my horrible ex at least 3 times in the past month. 11/10
Any plans to add new community copies?
Heyya! I’ve added 5 more copies to the pile
Thank you! I... appear to have missed my chance to grab one, haha. My bad.